Overscheduled Kids, Anxious Mamas
This is for the mama who is already feeling behind, even though school just started. I want you to know that you don't have to feel anxious, behind, or exhausted.
I want to remind you that you are a fierce, strong, smart, and savvy woman. You're amazing because you figure out how to make your family operate BETTER than anyone could.
I want to give you permission to no longer feel behind.
You are exactly where you need to be in your life.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Everyone has a different pace and a different journey.
God knew you would be reading this and He also knows what's going on in your head and heart.
He is a God of order and not chaos. (1 Corinthians 14:33)
So, if you're feeling like your life is always chaotic, I want you to consider if this is God's best for you?
Do you really think he wants you running around everywhere, doing all the things, feeling depleted and anxious?
Anxiety shows up differently for everyone, so there are different terms to explain the same experience.
Anxiety Induced Feelings
Here are a few feelings you may experience that are directly related to anxiety that you may not realize:
fear
tension
nervousness
panic
assuming everything will go wrong
feeling of being "out of control"
overwhelmed
dread
strain
uneasiness
worry
concern
agitation
apprehension
edginess
franticness
These feelings are NOT normal to have regularly but somehow they have become that way...normal to feel. I've experienced each of these feelings and some stuck around way longer than I wanted.
The issue I’ve noticed recently is that there is a silent pressure that is causing anxiety, but it’s hard to pinpoint, because it seems so “normal”.
It’s the pressure to have kids in multiple activities! Society tells us that they need language, music, sports, computer...all.the.things.
I want what's best for my kids, but I can't help but think doing all that may not bring out the best in them OR me.
When a kid shows true enthusiasm for something, what a neat opportunity to get them involved, but my question is-
When does it stop?
When are all the activities enough?
How do you know when your kid has had enough?
What I see happening is that we have overscheduled kids and anxious mamas trying to do it all.
Reflecting and Evaluating
Here are some questions to ask yourself to reflect and evaluate:
Are the activities my family's involved in the MASTER or SERVANT to us?
activities are there to improve the quality of life by filling in the gaps of knowledge or entertainment. If the activities have taken over your life, they no longer are serving you, they are mastering you.
Do the activities create more disruption than provide value?
there are seasons in life, where everything works well together. There's cohesiveness and joy at the pace you're going. However, seasons change, and it's important to realize when activities are creating more disruption in your life than adding value. There's a delicate balance between doing hard things and realizing when those hard things are optional and you no longer have to do them.
Is your family stronger or weaker because of the activities?
What does it look like for your family to thrive? For your family to operate as a cohesive unit where everyone gets to be themselves and be joyful? When everyone is feeling loved, seen and heard. Are the activities everybody is involved in cultivating a family culture you're proud of? The culture we create in our families turns into our legacy. We determine what that legacy will be by how we show up. If we're constantly stressed and busy, that is the legacy we'll leave.
Are you able to show up as the best version of yourself?
When was the last time you looked into the mirror and admired yourself? You’re made up of strengths, values and beliefs. Checking in with those, to make sure you’re living your life aligned with them, will help you prioritize what activities you and your family are involved in.
We are stewards of our life and our families!
What a privilege!