Lose the Chaos
So many times we get caught up in life and find ourselves looking back, wondering, "how the heck did my life get so chaotic?". Things that felt chaotic at first, begin to feel normal and then you realize you've been in a chaotic cycle for awhile and are unsure how to get out of it. And then you're not only unsure how to make your life more peaceful, you realize the process is going to be uncomfortable and take a lot of work. ugh.
Losing the chaos is hard because we can get addicted to it. Chaos is sexy. It's exciting. Chaos keeps us on our toes. It makes us feel important when we're having to put out fires, because it’s instant gratification. The thing is, chaos prevents us from figuring out what is actually starting the fires.
Chaos can look different for each of us and can vary from season to season in our life.
I've overscheduled activities.
Been in friendships that were one sided that burned me.
Carried way too many people's problems on my own shoulders when they never asked me to. I've expected myself to operate at levels of performance that weren't reasonable.
I've said yes out of guilt and obligation that built up resentment.
I’ve said NO out of fear of having to be too vulnerable and was also afraid of failing in front of others.
My chaos is my chaos and your chaos may or may not look or feel the same.
The important thing is that you identify when YOU’RE caught in the cycle of chaos.
Anything can be chaos that causes disorder and confusion and takes away your peace. Chaos is defined as complete disorder and confusion. When we live our life with chaos, our life runs us instead of us running it. We're confused about how we feel, what we're doing, and where we're going with our life, so we don't have much peace.
The deception of chaos is that we don't at first know what's causing it, so we choose to ignore it and then stay in self-denial.
Denial is a comfortable place to stay. It feels safe, because you at least know what to expect and don't have the emotional capacity to work through it. You don't have to do the hard work and you get to take on the mindset that it's all happening to YOU, and avoid the responsibility of owning your part in it.
INDICATORS that things in your life may be CHAOTIC
You have a negative attitude often
You feel burnt out regularly
Your home, vehicle and workspace are in a constant mess
You have health problems
You have a hard time focusing
You have a hard time sleeping
You say YES more than you say NO
You can't remember the last time you didn't feel overwhelmed
With that said, I’d never leave you hanging…so, here are some strategies to try out.
4 Strategies to lose the chaos
1. Take a break from saying Yes.
Allow yourself to experience life without adding anything else and for it to get into a neutral state- where you're just maintaining what you already have going on. The fewer new variables you invite into your life, the better you can see what's working and what isn't. This means taking a few days, week, or month and committing to not taking on any new projects.
2. Be honest with yourself about how the chaos is benefitting your life.
Everything we do (healthy & unhealthy) benefits us in some way. It scratches some itch, that our belief system has created that is unhelpful. Some of the beliefs that are keeping you in chaos are:
If I'm not busy, I'm lazy.
I can sleep when I'm dead.
I'm behind.
There is never enough time in the day.
I don't need help.
3. Manage your energy
Chaos drains our Nervous System because the fight or flight chemicals are only supposed to be triggered sporadically. Our bodies are then in a constant state of tension, that cause physical problems. The problem is that your body gets used to operating at that level of intensity and doesn't know how to shut down, therefore causing overwhelm, meltdowns, and burnout. Choosing to slow down is going to be uncomfortable at first, but that doesn't mean it's wrong, it's just new and different. To lose the chaos, you're going to have to reassure your body that nothing is wrong because you're NOT going 1000 miles a minute.
4. Surrender the chaos to God
Bring God your chaos and express to him that you want more peace in your life and you’re willing to surrender the things that are causing the chaos. If you have to wake up early or go hide in your car for a few minutes of quiet to talk to God, do it! He already knows what you’re going through and wants to be invited into the process. This isn't a surprise to him and he loves you and is right there waiting for you to ask him to step in!
Here’s a suggestion for a simple, but effective prayer:
Dear God, Thank you for always being there fore me. Please help me to rid anything within my life that is causing Chaos. Amen.
5. Hire a Coach
Hiring a coach will help you create order in your life! This happens to be
something I've become an expert in through the years where I help women figure out the root of the chaos and guide them with specific strategies on how to feel more organized and at peace in their life! If you’d like to explore what that would look like with no pressure, click HERE to schedule a call with me!
God loves you WITH or WITHOUT chaos, but wants you to experience His peace in your life and not feel constantly chaotic. He promises peace, therefore you deserve it. Lean in, even if it’s uncomfortable.