How To Get What You Want
You know what's the most frustrating thing, well, one of them? Knowing what you WANT, but not sure HOW to get it! Well today, I want to share with you a very simple process! It's actually boiled down into one question to ask yourself to move you forward: "If this were easy, what would I do first?" So many times we overcomplicate HOW to get what we want. We think it has to be the perfect timing, we doubt our capabilities, we're afraid to disappoint or disrupt others' lives.
The first step is to clearly define WHAT it is you want. If you haven't checked out my podcast from last week, you'll find it helpful if you're still in the process of figuring out WHAT you want. Once you have your thing you're wanting, which is your destination, we need to figure out the route to get to it. As silly as it sounds, I have yet to have someone not be able to answer this first question, to start out the process.
The first question to ask yourself is, what is the smallest, simplest step I can take in the next 24 hours. It may be sending an email, actually, it might not even be that, it may just be writing an outline of what you want the email to say. The point isn't to do something HUGE, the point of this process is to start moving, because when you start moving, you'll gain self-trust, which builds momentum and with momentum comes motivation...and we all need that motivation when the hard stuff comes. Which leads me to the second step.
The second step is to identify what distractions you're inevitably going to come across, that prevent you from following through. Because isn't that why we don't work towards those goals in the first place, because life isn't convenient and we get frustrated and defeated?
Well, just like the military anticipates how the enemy is going to attack, you my dear must do the same. This is the time to put on your investigative hat on and decide what has prevented you in the past from getting things done.
Road Bumps and Distractions
I like to call distractions SHINY SQUIRRELS. They're the erratic things that we can't help noticing bouncing, which takes our attention away from what we're trying to get done. You can check out my podcast How to Stay Focused on Your Goals in 2022 to learn more about Shiny Squirrels, but for now, these are the internal and external distractions that prevent us from getting what we want.
What INTERNAL DISTRACTIONS do you have? Internal distractions are your own thoughts and feelings which interrupts you from doing what you're doing. These can be pressing responsibilities and obligations, such as wanting to clean the kitchen instead of writing that email, or having a hard conversation. The internal distraction doesn't even have to be negative. It can be you just wanting to have more fun instead of pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. It also includes fears and limiting beliefs. You see, our ability to get what we want is directly related to our mindset, and we can't fake our mindset. It always reveals itself. Identifying what thoughts are holding you back and what you're scared about will help you push through. We must ride the waves of our feelings, but since our feelings are determined by our thoughts, we can change those.
What EXTERNAL DISTRACTIONS do you have? External distractions are anything that originates outside of yourself- such as technology, children, other people, and noises. One of these things by themselves may not distract you, but a few of them together can be an arsenal of attack. The thing is, our brain loves distractions, just like we can't help but watch the spastic squirrels running around, our brain doesn't want to be uncomfortable and think too hard, but when we're learning something new, or pushing through to get something we want that is outside our comfort zone, our brain gives us any opportunity to avoid it, because it costs energy and your brain wants to reserve all the energy it can.
Solutions for Overcoming Distractions
So, the first step was coming up with a small, simple step to start moving. The second step was to identify your internal & external shiny squirrels. Now is the time to come up with solutions to overcome the distractions you know will pop up. This is a step to be PROACTIVE instead of REACTIVE. Your brain will most likely hurt and tell you that you'll figure it all out when it happens, but I assure you, if you take the time before those distractions and distractions pop up, you're going to be way more likely to succeed through them.
Solutions give you power and control, who doesn't want that? For the internal distractions we can use the tool of "REFRAMING", which changes the way you look at something so it actually ends up changing your experience with it. It has you take a look at a challenge from another angle, which opens up new perspectives and reveals creative solutions.
Reframing is all about taking the thoughts you have and rearranging them to benefit you. It's not lying to yourself or making anything up, it's just having more of an optimistic outlook on what's going on in your mind.
Boundaries
For external distractions we can use the tool of "BOUNDARIES", which is a limit or a clear place where you begin and someone or something else ends. Healthy boundaries are the ultimate guide to being successful in life. Without boundaries we can feel resentful, disappointed and stuck. In the context of what we're talking about today, having boundaries around time and people will help you with your success. Boundaries honor yourself as having value and others for having value. Boundaries create limits so we don't overwork, overwhelm, or over plan our life.
Boundaries with time are important because time is valuable. You cannot create more time, it is not a renewable resource. Once it's gone, it's gone, so we must protect how we utilize it. Setting time-boundaries means understanding what you want and how much time you need to have to accomplish it.
Healthy time-boundaries might sound like:
"Thanks for the invite, I can only stay for an hour."
(knowing you need to get back to work or you need to take some personal time)
"I would love to help, but my plate is full. Is there another time that works?"
(honestly wanting to help, but understanding that your energy is limited and needs to be focused on what you're working on)
"I go to bed early, so I won't be able to attend that event, is there another time?"
(having a consistent bedtime is key to managing your energy, which is how you maximize your time)
"I am happy to help with that. My rate is..."
(when you're good at what you do, you deserve to be compensated)
"I won't be able to attend."
(when you have time blocked out to work on your thing, but are invited to do something else- you don't have to give a reason unless you want to)
"I will work for a solid 45 minutes and then allow myself a break."
(the boundaries we set with ourself are the most important. Set a time period that allows you to get into the flow, set a timer and then stop when the timer goes off. Take a break and then start again).
When setting boundaries with yourself or with anyone else, don't feel like you to have to justify your reasons. You wanting to protect your time so you can accomplish what you've set out to do, is enough. You are enough. You're embarking on a journey to accomplish your dreams! What an exciting place to be.
Review of the Life Edit Program
As a review, there are three steps on how to get what you want. They are easy to remember! It's the three S's.
Simple Steps
Shiny Squirrels
Solutions
The Life Edit process is all about creating order in your life, so you can step into your FULLEST God-given potential. Over the past few weeks I've talked about each stage of the process in my podcast. For a quick recap- We start out by digging into WHO you are- your values, strengths and beliefs. Then we dive into WHAT you want- which are related to what your mind, body, and soul need. And finally today we covered HOW to get what you want- identify the simple steps, shiny squirrels, and solutions. The three S's. Going through this process will help you get clarity on your purpose and will help move you into taking action and truly living your life and not being a bystander, of just watching it drift away.
The best way to live fully, is to remember WHO created order- God. He wants you to know Who you are, WHAT you want and HOW you get it. When you feel stuck go to God first, then try The Life Edit Process.
listened to that inner prompting to share one, it's always blessed someone else. Make it an incredible day!