Written By Tabatha Perry

6 Easy Edits to Improve Communication With the People You Love

1. CHECK IN- DON’T FIX.

  • ask: "What’s your high, low, and buffalo of the day?"

    • High- good/happy experiences

    • Low- bad/sad experiences

    • Buffalo- what surprised you most

  • ask: “Do you need to vent or do you want me to help?”


2. SHARE HOW YOU’RE FEELING

  • talking about how you're feeling helps create clarity 

  • having the vulnerability to share how you feel with someone you love will strengthen and deepen the relationship


3. STOP COMMUNICATING THROUGH COMMANDS

  • as parents and type A people who like things the way they like them- consider how you're speaking. Are you encouraging? Are you telling them what to do? Are you correcting?

  • communicate positively 7 times before correcting or commanding

 

4. DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU’RE GOING TO DO

  • Our words have power- Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.  Proverbs 21:23


5. ASSUME THE BEST

  • it's amazing how fast a misunderstanding can escalate when we assume the worst of someone and it's equally amazing how a misunderstanding can get resolved when we assume the person loves us and means well


6. Tell STORIES

  • When there is a misunderstanding that needs further clarification, ask: “The story I am telling myself is that you're frustrated with me because I did XYZ. Is the story I’m telling myself true?”

  • You may find you wrote an entire story in your head about a situation that isn’t even true. The scripture of Phil 4:8 tells us to fix our thoughts on what is “True”, so making the effort to clarify the story will save you from unnecessary heartache.

Tabatha Perry
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