5 Strategies for Productive Communication With Your Husband While Raising Kids
Agree on Parenting Expectations- Decide on who does what and when. Identify the values, lessons, and skills you want to teach your kids and share those with your spouse. This creates connection because we feel like a team working towards the same goals! For some ideas on what to teach your kids, check out my podcast Raising Daughters- 8 Concepts I Teach My Girls.
Weekly date night- Be intentional about planning alone time to connect and talk WITHOUT having an audience. Eventually kids will grow up and leave home, so you want to practice being around your husband without the kids. Also, when you’re on your date night, make sure to have fun together. Fun creates connection and you need connection for productive communication! If you’re fun challenged like me, check out my podcast FUN-Challenged!
Weekly Planning- Once a week, discuss upcoming events, goals, expectations of the week, meals, bedtimes, wakeup times, etc. Regularly communicating about these activities will create a connection between you because it's a way to share what you're looking forward to and learn more about what is going on in each other's life…and minimizes miscommunication that can lead to arguments. (bonus!)
Be Clear- I know this may come as a surprise, but our husband does not always know what we want OR need. (if only!) It's our responsibility to be clear about what we’re thinking and feeling. Being clear about your needs is a way for him to continue to learn about you! Don't expect him to read your mind…and on this point, don’t try to read his mind either. Mindreading doesn’t work and creates unnecessary drama. Just ask what he’s thinking or feeling!
Brene Brown does a beautiful job explaining the concept “Clear is Kind” in her book, Dare to Lead. Check it out!
Be Kind- This may sound basic, but sometimes we don’t need to be extra. Our kids see and hear us interact, which influences how they communicate with us, each other, and their future spouse. Being respectful and kind with how we communicate sometimes is the most difficult with those that we love. Be conscientious with your tone of voice, body language, and words you use, because those little eyes and ears see and hear more than we realize!