Are You The Break Or The Gas Pedal?
Relationships are incredible tools for refining our personalities. When I first met my husband, well, not first, because I don't remember meeting him, there's just a picture of us that proves that we did 5 years prior to when we started talking. At the time, I was on a "guy fast", meaning that I had made such horrible decisions about who I was dating, I needed to not date at all and recalibrate my system...well interestingly enough, a few weeks after I told God that I'd stop dating, because I was good at finding dates, it was a game and I definitely didn't want to be alone, I digress, I start talking with this dude who again I don't remember meeting, but he is so energetic and has all these dreams and plans.
I was fascinated by his drive and determination to make things happen in his life. He was already very successful at 24. Now, I also am driven, but not like him. He dreamed BIG dreams. He also made decisions quick. Again, I was fascinated because I'm a processor. I want to weigh the pros and cons, have it simmer and then make the most responsible choice. Steven on the other hand operated at 10x the speed I would. So, after several situations where Steven had already made up his mind on what he wanted to do and I was still meticulously putting together my mental pros and cons list, we developed a language to communicate our different abilities. The brake and gas pedal. This analogy communicates 1.) That we serve different purposes in our relationship 2.) That we have different speeds our "best" self operates in
I know every relationship has one person that is more of the gas pedal and the other is the brake. One is not better than the other...although as the established brake pedal, it does ware on me to be the "Debbie Downer" and "Negative Nancy" when Steven comes to me with yet another inspired idea on a business, trip, or house project he thinks we should do. I have to be intentional with realizing that being the brake isn't the "worse one". I'm the bumpers in the bowling alley, I'm the filter that prevents toxins from getting in. Steven moves our family forward financially, spiritually, and mentally. I'm in the details, he's the visionary. When you reflect on your relationship, which are you? Again, both are valued and necessary!
