Three Things You Must Know About WHO YOU ARE
Here's the deal, it seems basic to "know who we are", but unfortunately it isn't. Too many times we forget. Here are some identifiers if you've lost touch with WHO you are:
You are anxious
You have a restless mind that overthinks
You don't like who you are
You feel like a fraud
You constantly look for acceptance from others
You blame others for your problems
You are judgmental
You get caught up with the "Jones'"
You always feel behind
You don't like to make decisions
Every single person struggles with these, it's when we get stuck in them is when we really need to take an honest look at ourself. So, what is it that actually makes up WHO WE ARE? This is a question that doesn't have just one answer, but to summarize, WHO YOU ARE is made up of- Your values, strengths, and beliefs. We all have them, even if we don't recognize them. Everyone goes through seasons where they are not in touch with these. The important thing is that when we realize this, we then do something about it. Feeling and truly being successful at life is about editing your mindset and taking action so you see results!
So, on that note, let's go over the three elements that make up WHO YOU ARE of Values, Strengths, and Beliefs! Knowing these will improve your life!
Values
The first is Values- these are your principles or standards of behavior. What I found fascinating when I was researching this topic, is that most articles were focused on creating values within a business. Now, I definitely agree that businesses need values, and just as important, individual people need to be just as aware of their personal values. Your core values- drives and influences your behavior- it's your own personal code of conduct. When you live aligned with these values, you experience fulfillment, peace, and a sense of balance.
A strategy you can use to determine your values is by reflecting on your life and identifying the times you were happiest, most proud, most fulfilled and satisfied in life. Once you've figured out some of those times in your life, dig deeper and and ask yourself:
Why were these experiences truly important?
What about the experiences made you feel good about yourself?
Once you've answered these questions, find a values list online and pick your top 10 that relate to how the experiences made you feel. After you identify those 10, pick your top 5! Write them down and reflect on them often. When you start to feel unsettled or like life is a little off, go back to those values and filter your life through them. You'll probably find that you're not aligned with one of them.
Strengths
The second element of knowing WHO YOU ARE is being aware of your strengths. These are your unique talents, skills, and capabilities that you have in dealing with the world. These aren't fixed, but you have a natural tendency to do them well, with little effort. What's exciting is that we can add to our repertoire of strengths! We're not limited to what they are now, and we can always be improving these. The benefit to knowing what specifically you're good at is that it'll help you boost productivity, provides confidence, increases your self-confidence, saves you time, inspires other people, and makes you an overall happier person. When you know your strengths, it also help you make decisions on when to say "yes" or when to say "no" to opportunities.
There's two strategies I'm going to share about how to figure out what your strengths are-
The first is to reflect on your life and identify 3-5 instances in your life where you felt most successful.
The second is to ask your best friends, parents, and spouse what they think you're really good at.
Beliefs
The third element of knowing WHO YOU ARE is understanding the beliefs you operate from. Core beliefs are the foundational ideas you have about yourself, others and the world. Beliefs are ideas that are considered to be TRUE. These ideas develop during our early years of learning from, and interpreting the world around you. You develop specific rules that allow you to get your needs met from what you learned and interpreted. Beliefs effect our whole life. What I think is helpful to understand is the difference between BELIEFS and FACTS.
FACT:
something that has an actual existence that has supporting evidence.
BELIEF:
a state of mind that accepts something to be TRUE because of our own personal experience.
Knowing the difference is helpful, because a belief can be changed. It is moldable within us. Many times we mistake beliefs with facts, which ultimately hold us back in life and we feel stuck. When we allow ourselves to grow and develop, we find that we can get unstuck a lot quicker and not get comfortable where we get stuck. Some common beliefs I've heard that are again, beliefs, not facts:
I can't be my true self or people will think I'm weird.
I can't take time for myself because my family needs me more.
I don't need to be fulfilled.
There's no point in starting something new, other things always get in the way.
I don't have enough time.
I'm not in control of my life.
These are negative beliefs we can have. Here are some positive beliefs.
Life can be good.
I can do anything I want to do.
Others will help me.
I am okay as I am.
I do the best I can with what I have.
I trust myself.
I always have a choice.
One strategy to figure out what some of your beliefs are, is to look up a list of positive and negative beliefs online and read through them. Allow yourself to get curious when you roll your eyes, get get annoyed, mad, or inspired when you read them. That emotional reaction indicates there's something connecting you to that. Also, consider the words you speak to yourself. We all talk to ourselves...whether it's internally or externally. What do you regularly tell yourself when you're running late or when you accomplish a goal? Thoughts will turn into beliefs if you think about them enough times. Learning what beliefs you have and figuring out which ones are serving you is KEY to living a fulfilled life.
So, let's recap. When you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or stressed, there's this process called the Life Edit and the first stage is getting super intimate with WHO YOU ARE at that time. The three elements of WHO YOU ARE are your beliefs, values, and strengths. As you dive into each, there will be more and more revealed about yourself. The benefits of getting to know yourself really well, far outweigh the discomfort of the process. To know WHO YOU ARE allows you to:
make decisions easier and quicker.
see opportunities
be more productive
release self-doubt
be more consistent and reliable
empathize with others
become more creative
build self-worth
Remember to allow yourself to make small edits in your day to create the life you want and to step into your fullest God-given potential. Make it an incredible day.