How To Stay Focused On Your Goals in 2022
In 2021, you set some goals for yourself- things you wanted to achieve by the end of the year. Now, it's time to take a look back at those goals and see how you did. If you met all or most of your goals, congratulations! If not, don't worry- there's still time to achieve them. Here are some tips on staying focused and motivated to help stay focused on your goals in 2022. When I was coming up with last weeks content, 3 Surprising ways to Edit Your Life For Results That Don't Suck in 2022, I was inspired to go deeper into the first edit, "Remind Yourself of Your Goal Daily".
This sounds simple, right? But it's actually what holds people up a lot, myself included. It's not just about reminding yourself of your goal, it's reminding yourself WHY you even have that goal. Because that WHY is going to keep you motivated when your will-power fails you...because it will. Will-power wasn't created to sustain you for long periods of time. It's the ignition not the accelerator.
Energy from your WHY, is what will sustain you when life throws you distractions that want to take you off the course of getting to your goals. And that's what we're going to talk about. You can find tons of podcasts about creating a compelling WHY. I want to focus on the distractions that take your focus away from your WHY.
I like to call these Shiny Squirrels. It's a combination of the "shiny object syndrome" and the infamous quote from Doug, the dog in UP!, when he say's "Squirrel!!" and is distracted by the spastic, fluffy little critters around him.
There are two types of Shiny Squirrels. Internal and External. Internal distractions happen from within us. They are sometimes the less obvious distractions you have to deal with. Then there's the external distractions, the literal shiny object syndrome! These are things you can physically see!
There's three internal shiny squirrels! The first is limiting beliefs such as- "You can't handle this" or "You're being selfish for wanting this". Any thought you have regularly, turns into belief. You can't think something over and over again and not have it affect you. These can be very exacerbating.
The second shiny squirrel that can distract you from your goals in 2022 are NEW unnecessary ideas. Now, there's nothing wrong with dreaming, but there's a difference between dreaming and just coming up with ideas you're actually using as a protective factor because you're not sure what you're doing is going to turn out well (which, btw is a flavor of perfectionism that I totally use) OR you're bored with the process of getting to your goal. And guess what? Some goals aren't going to turn out the way you expected AND Boredom is inevitable in life when you're working towards a goal. It's monotonous and repetitive, but that's where growth happens.
Okay, The Third internal Shiny Squirrel are Anxious thoughts. I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life and ALSO being a woman, my mind can cover a bunch of different topics in a short amount of time and then go off on a million different tangents, which then creates overwhelm and I'm all of a sudden heading for the cabinet for a cookie, but I don't have any because I know myself and that I have no self control around sugar, so I end up looking through my kids' snack basket and find 5 bags of fruit snacks to make me feel better... Anyone else?
These internal shiny squirrels are very compelling. They seem SO REAL that if we don't address them, we'll self-destruct. But that's just our brain being an overdramatic teenager (sorry if there's any teens listening to this). Our brain doesn't like to be uncomfortable, so it's always going to try to give you a way to remain comfortable. Which is the whole point of why our brain is SO DISTRACTIBLE. It's hard for your brain to focus on goals, because that requires growth, and growth ALWAYS requires some discomfort.
Now, I'm not going to leave you hanging with just identifying what distracts you, I want to give you strategies to fight against your brain's desire to make you comfortable.
The first internal shiny squirrel was With Limiting Beliefs- The strategy for this is to be aware of all your thoughts. If you find that you think a specific thought a lot that gives you permission to give up- that is an indicator that you have a limiting belief. I'm going to say that again. If you have a specific thought that gives you permission to give up- that is an indicator that you have a limiting belief. Write that thought down and then figure out a thought you'd like to replace it with. God gave us the capability of taking our thoughts captive!! No, it's not easy, but with practice, it does become something you can do more often! If you'd like to dig into those specific limiting thoughts we use as excuses to get us out of doing something hard, email me and I'll email you a worksheet to help! You can find my email in the shownotes.
A strategy for New unnecessary ideas is to remind yourself of the specific steps you already decided on doing to get to your goal, and anything additional is EXTRA CREDIT. If you found that you were too general with your steps to get to your 2022 goals, now is the time to tighten those up. My husband is the KING of shiny squirrel NEW unnecessary ideas and he found that he was able to take the pressure off of himself of taking action on every.single.idea by considering those as EXTRA CREDIT.
The strategy for the third shiny squirrel of Anxious Thoughts is to put them through the filter that Phil 4:8 recommends: Is it true? Noble? Right? Pure? Lovely? Admirable? Praiseworthy?, if not, those are thoughts to no longer think about. But HOW Tabatha??? Well, Your brain can only think about ONE thing at a time. SO this is when distracting yourself from your distractions is OKAY! I find that if I put on upbeat music, read, or call someone, I'm able to get out of my own messy, unhelpful thoughts!
Okay!! We've covered the Shiny Squirrels we experience internally, now let's get into the External distractions that like to win our attention.
The first external shiny squirrel is physical discomfort. Side note- This can also bring up limiting beliefs too. Physical discomfort distracts you from reaching your goal because our society normalizes comfort and vilifies discomfort. Discomfort is what makes us grow though, so it's not a reason to stop what we're doing. It's actually an indicator that you're doing something right and developing. An example is losing weight. Limiting what you eat and moving your body more than you have in the past is going to feel uncomfortable. Don't let that discomfort distract you. Lean into it. Expect it. Embrace it.
The second external shiny squirrel is one I have the hardest time with. They're cute, we're told they grow up too fast, and they are always needing something. I'm talking about children. They are little, walking, talking interruptions. Love them, but man, they throw a damper into going hard and crushing goals. They are doing exactly what they should be doing when they ask questions and need things, but it still doesn’t make them less distracting. There's also that "mom guilt" that can creep in. That's when you have an internal AND external distraction- and those are a double whammy!!!
The third external shiny squirrel is the phone. This is the most common distraction I hear about from my clients. In my Life Edit coaching program we talk about scheduling your day and how often you transition between tasks, and what can throw all of us off more than anything else is that dang phone. Now, it’s not the phone in of itself that is bad, it’s how much meaning we give to it. Have you ever looked on your phone to see how much time you spend on it or how many times you pick it up? Every time you're doing one thing and then switch tasks by looking at your phone, it takes you on average 20 minutes to get refocused!! We don’t have that kind of time to get refocused, especially when our kids are added into the mix.
External shiny squirrels are a normal part of life. These can’t be avoided, so what do you do on a practical level? Well, let me tell you!
One strategy for physical discomfort- is to be aware of your body in a normal state, so when you feel physically uncomfortable, you can tell if it’s a discomfort from growing or a discomfort from something unhealthy. When it’s a physical discomfort because you’re pushing your bod a little more, it’s important to take care of your body. Hydrate, stretch, and give yourself rest days. Resting has been really important in my life when I've trained for races and even when I was pregnant and getting ready to birth my girls. Also, another thing, this maybe TMI, but for 33 years of my life, I thought it was normal to feel uncomfortable after eating. I didn't realize that was an indicator of a food sensitivity and digestion issues. If you're physically uncomfortable after you eat certain things, reach out to a clinician that does Food Sensitivity testing to figure out what's going on! If it hasn't gotten better yet, it probably won't and there's no reason to have that type of discomfort!!!
A strategy for minimizing your children from distracting you really varies depending on the age of your kids, so I'll just share what I've done over the past 7 years of being a parent. I was a stay-at-home-mom up until 2 years ago when I started my coaching business, so I was around my kids a lot! When my girls were babies, I would hire a babysitter for date nights so me and my hubby could have uninterrupted time together. Now, this wasn't easy, because my first daughter never took a bottle, but we strategically planned our dates around her feeding times, and we made it work! We STILL HAVE a standing babysitter come the same night of the week to this day. Now, why a babysitter and not a family member? I've moved over 20 times, so we have very seldom lived in the same town as family since we've had kids. For those that have family members, let them watch your kids! What a blessing it is for them. If you're like me and don't live around family OR don't want your family to watch your kids, hire a babysitter. You have permission! It doesn't make you a bad parent. We've found babysitters on Care.com, SeekingSitters, and asked for referrals from our church. If you're gasping that I would allow a stranger to watch my kids or suggest to you that you allow a stranger to watch your children, just take a breath. The reputable babysitting companies do background checks on the sitters and always make sure YOU check with their referrals too. I also want to mention that I've worked in the prison system for over 15 years, and if anyone was going to be paranoid with people caring for my children it would be me. But I refuse to live my life in fear, so I regularly fight those scary thoughts that people all of a sudden have once they become parents.
Look, God loves your kids more than you do. He's looking out for them. Giving yourself a break is okay. It makes you a better parent! The other strategy I use to prevent my kids from distracting me is to communicate clearly what the expectations are. For example, like a lot of you, I work from home, so I have to tell them when I'm "on a call" so they know not to barge in. Does this work perfectly? Nope. They're 5 and 7 and they can think the world's ending if one looks at the other oddly. My goal is to train them. Yep, train. That's our main responsibility as parents is to train up our children to be responsible humans. Learning boundaries is helpful for them. So, to summarize the strategies for preventing your children from distracting you, hire a sitter and when they're old enough to understand, start talking to them about your expectations and encourage them to wait to make their requests and ask their questions until you're done with whatever you're working on. Nap-times and after bedtimes are also a great way to stay focused.
The last strategy I'm going to share about is to address the external shiny squirrel of the phone. Here it is. If it distracts you from going to sleep at the time you desire, plug-it-in AWAY from your bed. I plug mine in, in my bathroom. I have a cute little basket I put it in...mostly so I don't spray water or get makeup on it. Another strategy is to put it on silent, airplane, or Focus mode. I also don't pick up my phone first thing in the morning. In fact, after I turn off my alarm clock, I sometimes don't look at it for a few hours. I don't want the messages I received the night before to distract me from my morning routine! Now, I'll have already looked at my calendar the night before and know when I need it by. I don't bring my phone to church often either. If someone is meeting me there, I will, but otherwise I'll just leave it in the car. This allows me to focus on what's most important.
During the day, put your phone somewhere else when you're needing to concentrate. You may be thinking, but Tabatha, what if an emergency happens, I need to have my phone! I agree that emergencies do happen and responding quickly is sometimes necessary, but let's be REALLY honest with ourselves. How often does that actually happen? Our brain is like a teenager and can overdramatize things. You WILL be okay away from your phone. The world will not end. If your life is filled with so many emergencies that you can't not be by your phone, YOU AND I definitely need to talk! If being away from your phone makes you feel anxious. Don't judge yourself. Get curious. Here are some questions to see how attached to your phone you are:
Has anyone said you're on your phone too much?
Do you feel guilty about how much time you spend on it?
Does your phone negatively affect your work performance or home life?
Do you feel an obsessive urge to use your smartphone to escape feelings of boredom or loneliness?
Staying curious is the best way to avoid judgment!
TO summarize, we all get distracted!! Nobody is immune to it. So here's the break down of the shiny squirrels of distraction.
The internal shiny squirrels are Limiting Beliefs, New Unnecessary Ideas, and Anxious Thoughts. The external shiny squirrels are Physical Discomfort, Children, and the Phone.
I shared strategies for each, but there's always more ways to manage these. I'd love to hear your thoughts and learn new hacks! Feel free to reach out to me and share you best strategies that help you manage distractions!
The best way to manage your thoughts is by recognizing them for what they are. If you can identify the internal or external distractions that trigger these negative, limiting beliefs and anxious thoughts, then you’re one step closer to managing them effectively. I hope this post has helped shed some light on how shiny squirrels (distractions) can adversely affect our productivity and happiness; if not let me know what else would be helpful! Feel free to reach out to me with questions about anything in this blog or any other topics discussed I would love to hear from you!
ALSO! If you'd love to be part of a self-development book club that doesn't require you to read the entire book, get support on implementing the concepts in your life and finally enjoy reading again, check out my No-Guilt Book Club and make sure to follow me on social media at Tabatha Perry, Life Coach to learn more ways to create order in your life and step into your fullest- God-Given potential!